Queer Kink

A practical and philosophical guide to real life BDSM for LGBTQs.
~ Wednesday, October 27 ~
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The QK Guide To: Wax Play

All you little pyros out there like fire, right?  Yeah, but I’m assuming your partner prooobably doesn’t want to be burned at the stake, no matter how hot it would be (I apologize for that pun).

So, what’s a fire loving sadist to do?  The obvious answer, wax play.  Wax play is the practice of dripping hot/warm candle wax over a submissive’s body.  It produces intense sensations during the application itself, and after the removal of the wax, the skin is hyper sensitive and responds beautifully to many forms of stimulation.  Obviously, this is a practice that requires some care to avoid burns to the submissive (and you don’t want to burn your submissive, it’s a risky injury and often very bad painful) so here’s how to do it properly:

1.  Get the right materials: Think carefully about the candles you’re going to buy.  You don’t want bee’s wax candles, or firm pillar/taper candles, beeswax burns very hot, and pillar and taper candles have hardening additives that make them burn hotter.  You should also avoid a lot of scented/colored candles not designed to be used on the body, because they contain chemicals that aren’t designed for contact with human skin and will produce irritation.  Ideally, your candles should be paraffin or soy based candles, come in little tins (votive style candles are good) and either unscented and colorless, or designed for human skin.  You should not use candles with metal flakes for sparkle, or too many chemical additives as they can increase the heat of the candle and cause burns.  Parraffin wax burns at a relatively low tempature 115 to 145 degrees) Soy wax burns slightly hotter (120 to 150 degrees) but that’s fine.    Don’t use candles manufactured outside the U.S. (because they may contain… awful things) don’t use gel candles, don’t use animal fat candles.  Ask your submissive about allergies and look carefully at the ingredients in candles

2.  Prepare the area:   Wax makes an effing mess when scraped off, and it’s hard to get out of linens.  So for your adventure with wax, you’ll want to put down a drop cloth, plastic sheeting, or a tarp, generally it’s also best done on a table rather than a bed (less combustable).  You should also have a cool cloth on hand to cool the skin in case of burns, and you really shouldn’t generally gag your submissive during wax play, as it’s a very communication based activity.   Remove any notable flammable materials (no big stacks of newspapers and what not).  It’s good to have a fire extinguisher handy, and make sure to have something on which to wipe your hands should they get sticky.

3. Prepare yourselves: If your submissive is hairy you might want to have them shave the area where wax is to be applied (to avoid ouchies during removal… unless you’re into that sort of thing) or if you prefer them hairy apply a little oil to the area where wax is to be applied, I recommend jojoba oil myself, as it’s very natural and absorbs well into the skin, and is unlikely to cause breakouts.  Don’t wear clothing you care about (this would be a good time for everybody to be naked, or to wear those thrift shop finds you bought to cut off your sub).  Also don’t wear products that contain alcohol (body sprays, certain hair products) and you both should tie back long hair for obvious reasons.

4. Take your damn time: Wax play is not an activity to rush, apply a layer of wax, let that cool, apply another layer, so on.  Make sure you’re not putting very hot wax over still pretty hot wax, or you can risk insulating the heat too much and injuring the sub.  You can vary the height from which you drip wax, the higher up the cooler, the lower down the hotter (so be careful), you’ll also want to be particularly careful on sensitive areas (genitals anyone?).  Give the sub time to react to each drip, and so on.

5.  Remove it right: There are several ways to remove wax from skin, but it’s usually best to start by hardening it up with a ice cube (it provides a nice dual sensation too), after that you can pick it off… or more efficiently (and erotically in my mind) use a tool to scrape it off.  You can use a blunt (not dull, blunt) knife, like a letter opener, a palette knife or certain Athames (I have the Spider Athame from amazon which I use for knife play).  You can also use a plastic scrapey tools, though those aren’t as sexy if you ask me.  You can get the last little bits with a loofa or bath scrubby.  To get wax out of hair, a flea comb or teasing comb is generally the best method (but generally you don’t want to get wax in hair).  Some dom/mes use a whip or flogger to remove wax, though I find this method inferior for two reasons, firstly, it’s messy, wax gets everywhere and secondly, you get wax all over your flogger (and floggers aint’ cheap) and it’s not easy to get out once it’s there.

6. Have fun.

Here are some reccomended candles on EdenFantasys (these are mostly very low burn candles):

Premium pearl-inspired scented candlesScented massage candle with a soy wax base.Fragranced soy massaging candle.Specially developed candles can be safely dripped on body

Edible soy wax based massage oil candleHeart-shaped soy wax edible candlesAromatic soy candle that melts into sensual massage oil.Natural scented massage oil candle.

Other resources:

BDSM Wax play: Candle makers

Wax Play: Another in depth article on wax play

Erotic Sensations: Sellers of specialized wax play candles.

Silent Vampire Online Crypt: A place with a very silly name that sells BDSM goods.

Tags: wax play BDSM BDSM safety BDSM activities kink kinky activities kinky fetish fetish toys BDSM gear fire wax The QK Guide To how to gear toys candles
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  10. junglemean reblogged this from transgenderqueerful and added:
    I was just telling A how much I miss playing with candles. Someone let me drip wax on them!
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