Queer Kink

The QK Guide To: Kinky Holidays

Now, I’m a third generation Atheist, but damnit I do love Christmas, and all those other awesome solstice based holidays.  I personally celebrate Christmas (or Santa day) as my family has done for genorations, because we think that Santa is the personification of all the best parts of human nature, a distillation of goodness if you will, and we like taking trees indoors and decorating them.  You however may celebrate some other holiday, yule, winter solstice, the ever popular Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Diwali (which is a holiday I think is pretty awesome), Eid ul-Adha, Yalda, Festivus, or one of numerous other holidays that falls around the winter solstice and celebrates the return of light (or something similar).  Whatever it is you’re celebrating, it often involves gift giving (unless it’s Festivus, in which case this guide will be useless to you, also I’m fairly sure Hanukkah is over, sorry about that) and so I’ve created this little guide to make that easier, as well on a few tips on having a sexy holiday

Gift Guide

First of all you’ll want to consider your relationship to the person.  Are they a scene friend?  A casual play partner?  Your dominant?  Your submissive?  This will help determine A: how much you spend, and B: What exactly you get them (for example you wouldn’t buy your dominant a collar generally).

Next you have to consider what they like, and their anatomy.  Vagina having painsluts probably won’t generally have a lot of use for CBT devices, and dominants who aren’t into pony play probably don’t need that horse tail butt plug.  If your sweetie has a fetish, their fetish object is often a good way to go, reward a shoe fetishist with a pair of amazing pumps, a latex fetishist with latex gear, and so on.  Also if you have a significant other and you want to splurge on a gift, the holidays are usually an expected time to do this.

Gifts for Subs:

• If you’re a romantic dominant, you can buy your sub a collar, or a pet style tag with “If found, return to *your name here*”
• If your sub is a kitty or puppy, buy them an appropriate toy, a big chewy bone or a mouse with a bell ought to make them happy.
• Buy them something sexy to wear for you.
• If you’re feeling mean a chastity belt can be a great gift.
• A lump of coal is always hilarious if you feel they’ve been naughty, if they’ve been nice, sex toys.

Gifts for Dom/mes:

• A really nice new flogger, paddle, or crop is usually appreciated
• Vagina having dominants who like strapping it on will be thrilled with a fancy new harness or dildo.  
• New restraints are also usually an instant winner.
• Much like subs, dominants like sexy outfits too.
• A key to something (your chastity belt, restraints, the lock on your collar, whatever) can be quite romantic and symbolic.
• As always, sex toys are a good option.

Stocking Stuffers:

Do’s and Don’ts Of A Kinky Holiday:

• Generally, don’t spend over $25 per holiday themed sex toy, because you aren’t going to use a candy cane shaped dildo the rest of the year
• Do only give kinky gifts where you’ll know they’ll be appreciated.  Also don’t give them to your family, you’ll just creep everyone out.
• Don’t use wax from the menorah as for wax play, because the wax of taper candles burns too hot.
• Do engage in as much Santa/Elf roleplay as you want, but do it in private.
• Do make DAMNED sure the receivers of your naughty gifts do not open said gifts in front of their family.
• Don’t buy expensive custom made fetish wear as a gift without being super sure of their sizes
• Don’t tie your partner to the Christmas tree (or Festivus pole)
• Don’t come out to your family during the holidays, it’s spotlight stealing and not a nice thing to do.
• Do do reindeer play instead of pony play to get yourself into the spirit. 
• Don’t do scenes outdoors in cold climates during the holidays, testicular frostbite is not festive.
• Don’t use christmas lights for bondage.
• Do use nipple clamps with bells attached.
• Don’t call your lover’s pubic hair “A Hanukkah bush”